Does this Make Scents to You?

I need help. I admit it. There should be a support group for people like me. You see us every day, and never even know. We could be your neighbor, sister, grocer... just about anyone. And we're all harboring one dirty little secret... we'll pay $18 freaking dollars for a damned CANDLE! I know. I'm so ashamed. I can't control it. If I go too long without buying one, I start itching and shaking uncontrollably. All this for something that basically covers the smells in a house, which used to be accomplished by *gasp* CLEANING IT! The manufacturers of the candles aren't stupid. They've figured out the buying public IS, and they cash in on that. Dump something closely resembling ear wax and some most likely radioactive scented oils into a mason jar, then laugh yourself into a coma as some dork comes along and shells out $20 to take it home and set it on fire. It never ceases to amaze me the things that we, the oh so enlightened public, will buy if you wave it in front of us and convince us we were suffering for the lack of it all along. Like those little racks that hold bananas up off the counters now... what the hell is THAT all about? I mean, were we all horribly unhappy in our banananess before? Was our inner banana abused? God knows, but now nine out of ten homes has another useless thing to sit on counter tops and take up more of the space that there already wasn't enough OF. But back to candles... you notice now they say things like '120 hours burn time'? In what, dog hours? I have yet to have one of the little bastards last as long as they say they will. I follow instructions, I trim wicks, I give the poor little thing rest breaks.. doesn't matter, it still doesn't last according to the label. If a candle was a car, it would be recalled. And the sad thing is, there's no limit to how high the damned things go. I've seen them reach prices that would feed small third world countries. And the smells these things have now... jesus. Remember the simple days of vanilla or strawberry? Now you have kiwijavagrapefruitboysenberry latte, and all it's sick and twisted siblings, battling for shelf space. Boggles the mind, not to mention the wallet.

*sighs* Time to go light up another one...