It Happened Again

Well, like it or not it happened again... I had a birthday.  Thursday, to be precise.  While I'd like to pretend the clock is actually running backward, the fact is that I'm now thirty nine.  THIRTY NINE... how the fuck did that happen?  I could have sworn I was 26 just a minute ago.  Phhhtt.  But no, both my birth certificate and the gray hairs that show up with alarming and increasing frequency testify to the fact that I am, indeed, thirty nine years old.  Years keep passing, alternately flying and dragging by, bringing with them new trauma and surprises of all sorts, whether I like it or not.

It's festive.

I've had a lot going on lately (which I'm sure shocks everyone... really.  I mean, would ANY of us know what to do if I posted something like 'I'm bored and not a single goddamned THING has been going on in my life'?  I know that I, personally, would have a heart attack of epic proportions.  Maybe spontaneously combust or something.), but hopefully things are now going to slow down a bit.  My brain could use the break.  Pretty sure it's just one more trainwreck away from leaking out my ears.

Oh, and on the purely snarky side?  Can anyone explain to me what they put in the water at the Post Office?  I figure that might explain the fact that every time I go in there the people behind the counter work as if any sudden (read: efficient) movement might possibly cause them to have a seizure, so they avoid it at all costs.  I was in there the other day at 3 or 4 o'clock and there was a line of, oh, let's say FIFTEEN people.  For these FIFTEEN people?  They had two, count them, TWO people manning the little register stations.  And those TWO people?  Had the collective motivation and/or skill set of your average sleep deprived sloth... that had been dropped on its head repeatedly in its infancy.  I'm not kidding.  The one lady... I was so close to climbing over the counter and decapitating her that it's a wonder I'm writing to you from home and not from a laptop in Mexico, where I'm residing while doing research on their extradition laws.  She wandered here, she meandered there, she chatted with this person and that person... all while the line grew to TWENTY FIVE people.  And did she notice and/or CARE that the line was growing at an alarming rate?  She. did. NOT.  She'd grown quite comfortable with operating with her head up her ass, and she wasn't about to dislodge it for anyone.  Maybe the smell had grown on her.  I couldn't begin to say. 

Then there was her co-conspirator... the man at the second register who had apparently had his computer training about two hours before.  He was waiting on this man who was, if I'm any judge, both related to the lady at the first register and older than DIRT.  The customer in question was buying stamps.  Seems simple, yes?  Not so much.  He wanted to look at every style of stamp available, and weigh his options.  Carefully.  Painstakingingly.  When he finally found a stamp that suited his aesthetic sense, he said he wanted an insane amount of sheets of them.  I don't know the exact number of sheets, but the total was $250, give or take, so it was a LOT of sheets.  I have to wonder what body he's mailing.  But anyway.  The postal worker that was handling him could not quite seem to get the hang of the whole 'ringing him out' process.  Voiding was involved.  Repeatedly.  Soon a manager was called in.  The manager was, I suppose, trained at the same time as the mentally-challenged underling, as he couldn't figure it out, either.  There were murmurings in the line of a riot and I think it was about to get ugly.  I won't say who started the murmurings, but... *coughs*

Anyhoo.  I'm going out tonight with a girlfriend of mine and some friends of hers to celebrate the fact that I'm getting old and decrepit.  Should be interesting.  Alcohol will quite possibly (okay, probably... shut up) be involved, and that always adds an extra degree of entertainment and/or drama potential.  Not that I'm ornery if I've been drinking or anything. I'm an angel.

(...)

WHAT?!?!?!

Comments

[Nyt]

Happy Belated Birthday! I'm up to my eyeballs with the dreaded midterms! UGH! I am close to being swamped with student papers who cannot seem to follow simple rules!