I'm sure you're all ready for a nice, fat post about something like one of my cats spontaneously combusting in a flurry of hairballs or me beaning the chick at the drive-thru window with one of my high heels, but for now? Just be happy with a short post about some changes I've made.
Listen closely, Grasshopper...
Comments now will await moderation before being posted. I wrote and published something on here last week that was, ill-advised or not, deeply personal and important to me. I've come to a point of not caring so much whether or not anyone else agrees with what I posted, as it's a decision that each person can only make for him/herself (and most of you that have been around for any length of time know that I share a lot on this blog, for good or for ill. It's just who I am, and I'm okay with that. Mostly.), and I'm fine with people voicing their own opinions, in the general scheme of things. That's what I have the comments section for. What I take exception to, however, is people using the space to twist facts or outright lie about me, on my own blog, in order to score points off of me, in public, because they're unhappy with their own lives. That I find reprehensible. And to do so under a pseudonym, well... that's just a kicker. If you're going to attack me, and try to sway the opinion of my readers against me, then have the balls to post under your own name. It's not like I don't know who you are, anyway. Helloooooooooo, ISP identification! It's a wonderful thing. I could, if I so chose, correct the post that was put up to reflect your real name and email, but, well... that would make me entirely too much like you, so I'll just leave that for now. And to post what you did from a work computer? That's probably something that could get you in trouble. You might want to watch that in the future. Just a little helpful advice.
I've learned something valuable from all I've been through recently. Actually, I've learned a number of things. Quelle surprise! We'll do these in order of importance. (Are you sitting down for this?)
1.) People love to judge. (...) I know, I know... I was just as shocked as you are! But, surprisingly enough, it's true. Now I, in my writing, will often appear to judge things that I seriously don't, just because it's a tool of creative license and makes for funnier fare. In reality, as those that know me can attest to, I'm open minded, often to the point of being detrimental to my own well-being. That being said, I've just been amazed at the people who, having never lived in my position of stood in my shoes, have judged me for my actions and condemned me in the process. I'm an imperfect creature, as we all are, and am bound to make mistakes. But there are also decisions that I've made, and will continue to make, that are NOT mistakes, but merely different choices than the ones that other people would make. That doesn't make me wrong, it just makes me... me. Being different or needing different things or healing in a different way shouldn't invite vitriol and judgement, it should just be a path that is my own and no one else's. But hey. Give people half a chance and they'll stand on your neck in order to feel shitloads taller. It's festive.
2.) Grief is an individual process. Everyone has a pre-conceived notion of what is and is not acceptable after the loss of a loved one (not one's OWN loved one, mind you... but someone ELSE'S loved one. I'm sure if it was THEIR loved one that died, well, then they'd just feel all kinds of different about having people's input into the whole thing. Funny thing, perspective...), and they're not afraid to share it or proclaim the rightness thereof. I'm not sure if it would qualify as irony, but the fact that these same people don't have, 99% of the time, their own shit in order, either mentally or physically, before casting aspersions on your own character or choices, just slays me. They obviously missed the little thing about glass houses and stones...
3.) Life is short. (...) News flash there, eh? Seriously, though... it IS. I know that as well or better than anyone. I always have, really. I've lived my life trying to get as much out of every experience as I can, both good and bad. On good days, I even look back at the really traumatic things and put them in the perspective of 'well, if THAT hadn't happened to me, then I'd have missed this other really good thing over here.' That works sometimes. But either way, I know it more now, with Jonathan dying so suddenly and so young. And you know what I've gathered, life being short and all that? That happiness, and the pursuit thereof, is a blessing, no matter the timing, the approval of others, or the way it may fall outside the box. There is so much unhappiness running rampant in the world today, that passing up a chance for even a handful of it, even a taste of it, just because of either of the aforementioned factors? Is not only a waste, it's a sin. God is nothing but love, and to those that think that he'd rather see people suffer over something as malleable and inconsistent as the views of the moral majority or the number of ticks on a clock, I say, resoundingly... PHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTT.
*wipes off monitor*
I've got a friend that's helping me assert myself a bit more in real life, where I tend to bend a bit too much to public opinion and feel the weight of people's nastiness more than I should. I'm effectively taking Fuck You 101.
I'm so hoping for an A...
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