Only Nola

Zombie

Yes, much as you'd think I'd died and come back a bit George Romero-ish, the reality is?  I'm still among the living.  I know, I know... the last year or two my delays and absences have been legion.  I don't know what to tell you other than a great deal of what's been going on in my life is NOT publishable.  Not on a blog my family reads, anyway.  What, do I look stupid?  (...)  Don't answer that.  Seriously.

Let's see... what do I have to report?

Wee Update

Thanks to everyone for their concern and all.  I appreciate it.  Here's the lowdown... *insert drumroll here*

I was stopped at a red light, minding my own business, blinker fully engaged and car fully NOT engaged... complete stop, people.  I was reaching for a piece of paper in the passenger seat and suddenly?  Everything was WRONG.  Starting, of course, with the truck I could see in my rear view mirror, nearly in my back seat.  There's significant irony in that whole 'objects in mirror are closer than they appear' thing... 

Anyway.  Grandpa back there was apparently not even on this mental planet when he hit me, because he wasn't even attempting to slow down.  Hence the insane amount of damage to my baby.  I'm going to insert a small rant here (is anyone surprised?), because really?  I think this bears mentioning...

I was at the crash site for nearly an hour (yes, I said HOUR) before the police showed up.  Now, 3 minutes after the crash a FIRETRUCK showed up (oddly enough, NOT because they were called, but they were just on their way back from somewhere else and saw the wreck and decided it was a good time to get out and do fireman things.  Like stand there on the curb and stare at my ASS in my yoga pants (I'd just gotten out of the gym), which was fine and all but rather surreal given the circumstances.  Car wreck, dudes!  Mayhem! Destruction!  Not my ASS!), but the cops?  Well, apparently there was a really long line at... okay, I won't say it.  WON'T SAY IT!  But seriously?  An HOUR?  WTF?  Is there ANY jaywalking ticket that should have taken precedence over a car wreck?  I wouldn't think so.  And I know, for a fact, that we have more than one cop in this town, so sparing one to come and make sure I'm not going to DIE while waiting for them to write up their reports and all?  Seems like it would have been appropriate.  For fuck's sake... *sighs*.  I did not, however, vent my proverbial spleen at the cop when he finally meandered into the picture.  I so deserve a cookie for that one.

Now, the bonus here is that the dude that hit me?  Wasn't driving his own truck.  Was driving his grandson-in-law's truck.  And that truck?  Did not have proof of insurance on it.  In it.  NEAR it.  And when grandpa called the owner of the aforementioned truck to get the insurance information?  Surprisingly enough?  He couldn't get any.  Gee, go figure!  So MY insurance company was doing this cute little dance, trying to avoid  having to file a claim on it.  I understand they don't like to part with money, but this is what I PAY THEM FOR.  I finally called my attorney yesterday morning.  Have I mentioned lately how much I heart my attorney?  Yeah, he was all foaming at the mouth on my behalf.  God bless him.  So I call my insurance company back and when she starts talking and I hear the dance music kicking in, I simply say 'Well, I was just speaking to my attorney, and HE says...'  I tell you, it's amazing what the word 'attorney' can do to an insurance agent.  Really.  Suddenly I was getting all kinds of cooperation and clarification.  I'm now writing my attorney into my will.

Things are still a mess, as the insurance company doesn't seem to play well with the car rental company, so I'm currently paying for my rental car out of my own pocket until they get their collective heads out of their collective asses, but I know it'll end up resolved before long.  ATTORNEY!

Oh, and my baby?  Isn't totaled.  I just found out yesterday.  $13,000 in damages, but not totaled.  Is it just me, or does seeing that number written down make your head hurt?  And it will, according to the collision center at the Cadillac dealership, take about a month to make my baby 'good as new'.  I have my doubts on the whole 'good as new' thing, but... we shall see.

Oh, and one final note... I appear to be in one piece.  A little sore, some headaches, but other than that?  I have once again stared death in the face and walked away laughing.  (...)  Okay, laughing isn't quite right, more like hyperventilating, but... I'm still here, dammit!

Anyone have some Valium they want to share?  *smiles hopefully*

My Black Cloud Groweth

Okay, I will keep this short and sweet as I have a million phone calls to make, but wanted to let everyone know that a) despite appearances to the contrary, I am, in fact, alive, and b) I was in a car accident yesterday and some fuckwit killed my CTS when he decided my trunk didn't look quite right without the nose of his truck up in it.  I don't know for sure yet, but I think it will be totaled.  *sighs*  I'll post more details later.  Really.  'Cause I'm reliable like that.

Do I even know how to live a life without a bullseye painted on my forehead?

One More Time

Not a long post today... just enough to let y'all know that I'm on my own once again.  Nothing bitter to report, nothing like that.  Just one of those things that happens sometimes.  I wasn't in the place that I needed to be, and to get there?  Gots to go alone.  So I'm off and running, getting my head together *insert riotous laughter here* and seeing who I am when all this is finished.  I have a sneaking suspicion I might be 'Sybil', but I could be wrong.

Never a dull moment, eh?

Want Want Want

I am the keeper of my realtor's Corvette.  It's a hard job, really... letting it sit in my third garage bay, safe from the elements, and getting to take it out and drive it when I want.  Poor me.  Did I mention it's a convertible?  Uh huh.  Go ahead, hate me.  I'm used to it.  I mean, I have a car that I love and all (my CTS is my baby, and I don't care who knows it, dammit), but honestly?  There's just something about a convertible in the first place, much less a convertible Corvette.  I mean, Jesus... the car is just power and sex scrambled together and stuck on wheels.  I get in the driver's seat and suddenly feel like a Bond girl.  Okay, a thirty NINE year old Bond girl, but still... BOND GIRL.

I'm not sure the realtor is ever getting that car back.

Oh, and for Auburn...

Auburn brought it to my attention that I haven't shared a picture in awhile.  So, that being the case, well... here ya go.  It's a bit grainy in the post, but if you click on the pic?  Voila, you get a slightly larger one that's clear as a bell.  This is Jon and I (yes, I know... Jon.  1st husband was John, then 3rd was Jonathan, and now... Jon.  Don't ask me... ask karma.  I don't understand it, either, lol.  But hey!  He's awesome!  Sooo... it works for me.) on February 1st, sitting by the fireplace in my living room.

Love is Grand

Just making a statement.  Don't get all excited... I'm in the middle of a writing project so I'll keep this short and sweet. 

I've been given the opportunity to remember what real love is.  And then some.  The man I'm seeing now is... amazing.  I've been going through a lot lately.  No news there, but this time I don't mean external drama (although there's been that, too), but more internal issues.  Revisiting my grief, dealing with old hurts and traumas, etc.  Thank God for therapy.  And for my significant other.  He... I just don't have the words.  He's been steady and supportive through all of this, never flinching from standing by me even when I'm not doing a good job of standing by myself.  He's patient and understanding, kind... and unbearably sexy, lol, which never hurts.  I don't mean just on the outside, even though he is an attractive man... I mean on the inside.  The things he says to me... *fans self*.  Nevermind.  You don't need to know.  Suffice it to say that he knows how to get in my head and that's the biggest sex organ there is.  He just consumes me, but in a good way.  He worries about my health and well-being, never forgetting either in pursuit of his own pleasures.  He listens to me.  Better yet, he HEARS me.  I've made a number of stupid decisions since he and I have been together, but I'm realizing more and more that I was just running from him because I was scared.  Scared to believe I could finally have all I wanted.  Those of you over the age of 35 will probably understand that best.  Trusting him and trusting the relationship meant putting myself out there in a position to be hurt again, and probably more deeply than I had been before.  It terrified me.  Now?  Not so scary.  He's my safe place.  He values me and truly loves me.  I haven't had that in years, and it's an amazing feeling.  While I can't predict the future and nothing in life comes with guarantees, I can say that no matter what happens I'll consider it an honor to have had (and hopefully continue to have) him in my life. 

By the way?  Love shouldn't hurt.  And this time?  It doesn't.

Okay, done being all mushy now.  I'll return for more snark later.  Snark is good.  Snark is my friend.  Snark... should pay better.

Meh.

It Happened Again

Well, like it or not it happened again... I had a birthday.  Thursday, to be precise.  While I'd like to pretend the clock is actually running backward, the fact is that I'm now thirty nine.  THIRTY NINE... how the fuck did that happen?  I could have sworn I was 26 just a minute ago.  Phhhtt.  But no, both my birth certificate and the gray hairs that show up with alarming and increasing frequency testify to the fact that I am, indeed, thirty nine years old.  Years keep passing, alternately flying and dragging by, bringing with them new trauma and surprises of all sorts, whether I like it or not.

It's festive.

Off With Their Heads!

Hey, guess what?  I'm sitting here posting and it hasn't even been a month yet!  Aren't you positively glowing with pride?  Enthusiasm?  Ecstasy?  (...)  Um... boredom?  Can one glow with boredom?  I'm willing to try if you are.

So anyhoo.  Want to hear me bitch?  I'm so overdue.

Ha! Still Breathing!

Yeah, I know... we shall all now repeat the mantra 'Nola sucks'.  I own my suckiness.  I have completely fallen off the posting wagon the last 3 or 4 months.  I'm trying to get my proverbial shit together and actually SCHEDULE time to write in the blog more often.  *insert sound of no one caring here*  I figure that maybe, just maybe, that might be a way for me to post before people start fighting over who inherits my cats.

You know you want them...